Living the LOVE of a missionary!

HI! I can write today!!!! WHOAH.

Seriously. I told my companion I am staying on this computer until I have a whole novel typed up! Not writing stinks. I got MSF so I am going to live....now I just need to go shopping for some food. We had frozen peas for breakfast. We ran out of rice. HAHAHAHA.

Mom and Dad thank you for the reassurance that it is okay to use a little pénz. I already sent back the money I owe you two. So we're even. You have to have enough to adopt at least some replacement kids. 4 KIDS!?! Seriously mom. What are you going to do? That sounds like a great idea! We do this really cute family English,  Angolóra class here. We just invite all the people we meet on the street. We meet at the church and a few members come but you can tell the missionaries and they can bring investigators! Tell your friends and then just set up a group that talks about parenting! Mom, it is genius. Then incorporate scriptures and beliefs and that have helped you parent. Start and end with prayer and give a 5 min. spiritual thought at the end. If anyone wants to learn more about the church than have them call the missionaries! It works so well here, and your teaching would be so helpful for others. Seriously. You have so many skills and so much experience in that area! Then in your spare time head over the clinic and save unborn kids. Mom you rock.

CHRISTMAS! All I want for Christmas is to talk to my family. Seriously. I can get about any food over here ( except peanut butter, and that I can wait for, so don't bother :) Besides. I already used a little for bike fund. I talked to the missionary financer and she is saving me a winter coat some missionary left behind. ( I just needed a water proof one and she and I are  like this : ( imagine me crossing my fingers and saying that.)   I would actually just like to get you all stuff from Hungary. So if you want something: Bull whips, kolbasz, etc. let me know and if you don't want anything than that is okay too. 

Mom. There are so many cute kids here. I just want to be a mom. There is this little boy N., whose mom is in jail. She is going to be there for 5 years! He won't even know who she is!?!?! He is 2 and just needs a mom. His dad is awesome but just so tired. He loves giving me high fives and little hugs. Yesterday he was just sick and when it was time to leave he was just crying and reaching for me and saying mom. It broke my heart. I love him. But you know what there are angels watching over him. I believe that with all my heart.

Then there is little F. She is 2 and has short white blonde hair and a circle face and she wears denim overalls and just hugs me and let's me play with her bear. Her face is always dirty and her family doesn't have a lot, but she is so sweet. She will just lean on my arm and OHHHHH.......I WANT A BABY.

I just feel so blessed. I just feel love here. I love people. It is unconditional and it is such a beautiful gift. The Lord is really changing me. I wouldn't trade this for ANYTHING. I love it so much. I love you all more and more EVERY DAY. And I am starting to understanding God's love for us. I can't explain it. WOW.

We were tracting a few days ago in an area and I guess an older inactive member saw us and tried to call out for us. We didn't hear her. She showed up at church last Sunday just for a little bit and we were able to plan a time to meet with her. When we met last week she was so grateful. She was just so lonely and all of her kids live in America. She just couldn't stop thanking us. We had to leave but she said she would come to church though. When she came to church she just looked so nervous. She is so sweet! During Relief Society ( Can't wait to have a church meeting in English.....GENERAL CONFERENCE, I AM SO STOKED.)  The Bishop pulled her out. We had a lunch afterwards so everyone was setting up and I wasn't seeing her. I went back into the Relief Society room and she was sitting in there getting her bags ready to leave and crying.

When I asked her what she was doing she said she had to leave. She hung her head and said she didn't bring anything for lunch,  and that she wasn't wearing a skirt. Well we smothered her with love. The Bishop told her she was not allowed to leave and we introduced her to the 2 year olds in the ward. She wasn't going to eat and we brought her right up to the line, put a plate in her hand, loaded up a plate and sat her down with all the little old néni's.

Afterwards we walked her to the bus holding her little wrinkly hands and gave her lots of kisses and hugs. She just cried. She was part of this family and she felt it. It was so touching for me. I felt like the Father of the Prodigal Son. I got to be Christ's hands welcoming her back. It was so much pure love. I have never felt like this before! I never want to leave! I looked around that lunch at so many of the people that were coming back: Z. ( My best friend here-reminds me of Carissa SO MUCH!), S.( the guy who scored the winning goal on me- Why was I the goalie? That's the real question.), little  E. who was embarrassed she wasn't wearing a skirt, G. and N.( The family without the mom.) and I just love them. If I get transferred I am going to bawl my little eyes out. It is so hard to come back, they are all so different and so precious. FIND THEM AND LOVE THEM. Let them back in. No one is perfect.

Alright. OHHHHH.HAHAHA. I know what else.

I misunderstood," Would you like to come over and pick potatoes?"

for,

"Would you like to come over and eat potatoes."

Very subtle difference. Very large problem.

We ended up going to this members for what we thought would be dinner. We ended up working in a potato field for a good 3 hours. Whoah. We were wearing skirts. So I had to borrow some old clothes. I ended up wearing a real tight, black striped turtle neck, blue sweat pants ( really loose sweat pants...) and high tops. haha. I looked very classy. It was really cool though and super interesting. They just flip on the tractor and with a crank plow through the field and potatoes go flying! It is super fun and dirty. I think we should grow some :)

Oh. and my Companion and I were separated for the first time. ahaha. So FUNNY. We were sitting on a bus trying to get to a program that we really had no idea where it was, and all of a sudden the member is rapping on the bus window and telling us to get off on that stop! Gah! So we grab all of our stuff and the bus doors were closing, I was sure though that I could push them back open. WRONG! I was just coming through the door and was trying to push it open with all my might ( to save my little companion) but it would not open and I just barely managed to squeeze through to freedom without getting chopped in half. I turned around and there was my poor little companion. Trapped. I gave her a really sad face as she disappeared in to the great cities of Hungary. She just got smaller and smaller. Hahahaha. She is just so new. I felt so terrible, but it was SO FUNNY. We eventually caught up, but it was pretty hilarious. I had to run to the next bus stop to retrieve her with the member close behind on a pink bicycle. We looked ridiculous. When don't we?

Also, soccer is going well. The Elders here are still smack talking, but I got a few good kicks at them. I have been practicing goalie. The people we play with are hilarious and super good.

Oh. And I am sending Goat-town pictures. Enjoy, and be jealous.

I love you all more than you could probably mathematically equate and even if you could it would be unfathomable to the human mind. So don't try.

Nagyon szeretlek benneteket és allíg várom káracsony időre!!!! csodálatós lesz.

Don't google translate that. It might not be right, just let me think I am cool.

love, Sis. Fowers

FYI, google translate (I love you and look forward chin x-mas time!! will be amazing.)

Walnut, for Luck?

Hey Fam!

What is going on? ( Peter. If you EVER draw a picture of me like that again, prepare to die.) This week has been so stuffed of miracles, I can't even say how I feel. The Lord is so good, he just lead us the entire week. 

Unfortunately, news has spread about the soccer game in Veszprém. I have been getting smack from every member and Elder in the ward. These are just a few direct quotes:

" Ready to eat dirt, sister Fowers?"

"See my knee? Your gonna get a closer look on Monday."

" I am just going to shove you. Just shove you."

" Better hope you are on my team."

" You are going down...."

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I have tried to explain to them I am really not that great, but it is too late. When they see me play tonight we won't be getting any more referrals!!!! SO much pressure. I deserve it.

Alright, so actually I am not feeling so hot this week. I sound like a elephant with peanut stuffed up the ole' trunk. I am going to die in the soccer game tonight.....buried in AstroTurf. Sounds like a good way to go.

I just wanted to share a little story that has been on my mind this week. When I first came here we were meeting with this beautiful little family. L. is the father. He is a very worn down man. His house is 100 years old. The roof is not finished, whatever he started was ruined last week in the rain. He has a little play set for his kids- it is missing all the main pieces and the swing set is made of old baby car-seats.

He has been trying to finish the house for years, and it still looks like a mess. But he has the most beautiful little kids. F, C, and A. F, just has a little bubble face with short white-blonde hair, she is always wearing little green overalls. C. loves talking about stars, and A. is afraid of girls. T. is the mom. She is so sweet but you can see on her face that she gets in bed each night completely exhausted.  Anyways, the missionaries have been teaching them for a really long time, and that day we just felt like we needed to talk about why we were there. We couldn't gather them all together, so we ended up talking to L. the father.

Our last lesson with them we asked him to pray about baptism. He said he hadn't. When we asked why he said he couldn't believe. He said there was too much in his life. He felt like his family and him were in a prison, slaving away at this house that would never be finished. He said he couldn't believe that this would really change him. He thought you just have faith. Not that it is something that needs to be strengthened, cultured, and cared for. It was the saddest conversation I have had with anyone. We testified with all our hearts it would, that the gospel was true, that they needed it. We all need it. He just folded his worn hands and said he couldn't.  We told him we would be there when he was ready. Then we asked if we could kneel to pray. While he prayed we cried. It was heart breaking. We could hear the kids up stairs getting ready for naps, and T. trying to calm them down. I couldn't stop thinking about my own family and what it would be like living without this gospel.

We were leaving, and L. knew we were sad, and I think to make us feel better he rummaged around an old tree in the front yard and picked up two walnuts. Here they use walnuts for luck charms, and he handed them to us. In broken English he said: " For luck. I grew this tree by myself..."  As we walked away, I couldn't help looking at that tree and thinking, "but you can grow faith too." If only he knew! If only he knew where his peace could be found, and if only he could take that step to find it. The story is not over. I know they are going to find it. We might be waiting a while though.

Alright, well not feeling too great right now, so I will leave it at that. Probably need some rest before I get destroyed in this game.

Just know. I read all the letters. I love every single one of you. Jaaron-why did you not eat the deer. That part is still a mystery. I love you all. Miracles happen when we exercise faith. Families are forever.

Love Sis. Fowers

• 
  

Whac-a-mole

Well, Yeehaw! Life in Missouri sounds like it is bumping and very missionary-oriented. I love my family. Surprising, but true. I am proud of each of you. OH YEAH. Guess what today it is in my little missionary world?

TRANSFER CALL DAY.

( Got my transfer call and......)
Elnyzsést, de kaptam a hivastam és...........

I AM LEAVING VESZPRÉM!!!

Yeah. What. In. The. World. I just got here?

There goes my comfort blanket. This is my second " One and Done." But that is not it. I will be the senior.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Oh. man. oh man. oh man. OH MAN. There's no place like Missouri, there's no place like Missouri ( Imagine me clicking my little heels together at a speedy rate.) Do you understand what that means?!? That means those times where I awkwardly look to my companion and ask " Hey, what just happened?" are over. Now I have a little 2 transfer old missionary that will look at me and say, " Hey, what just happened?" and do you know what I am going to have to tell my little baby? I HAVE NO IDEA, PAY ATTENTION! Hahaha. Alright, really though I am 4 transfers old. I have a feeling my language skills are going to be improving. This is also the " Big Un' " the 10 week transfer. Oh, and my companion's name:  Sis. Hinckley. That was the cherry on my little mission Sunday.

Alright, it actually won't be bad at all, I just didn't think it would happen so soon! I am slightly relieved to leave Veszprém. I just want to say that the Lord answers prayers. Every transfer I have specifically asked for certain companions and certain areas and it ALWAYS happens. Seriously. Exactly as I ask. I always tell Heavenly Father I am okay with anything, but he always has my back. So grateful.

I was sitting in church the other day by one of the Elder's investigators, it was fast and testimony meeting and I wasn't going to go up and bear my testimony and C. starts elbowing me and telling me to get up and do it, I kept telling him if he went up I would. It was almost time to end  the meeting and he kept elbowing me and then he started saying it a little louder, and the Relief society president (sitting right in front of us) turns around and tells me I should go, and then the Elders join in. It was becoming such a commotion! I was like " Alright, alright! Sheesh!" It was super sweet and annoying of them. I love this ward so much. I am going to miss them. I heard the ward in Kecskumét is incredible too.  We will see. I actually just got a call from T., the RS president. I love her.

Last night we had to say goodbye to Gizi néni, in case one of us left. The elders cooked stuffed peppers. SO good. I love Veszprém.

Also, sorry the pictures didn't go through. I can't figure this computer out.

What else. Oh. I figured this out last night before I went to sleep. I knocked 720 doors this week! Isn't that great?!

Unfortunately, leaving also means I have to say goodbye to our whirlpool bath. Hmmm....little bitter about that. Also, I survived the last week off breadcrumbs! Literally. I was low on MSF- entirely my fault- and The elders before left us some breadcrumbs (You know the kind you bread chicken with?) So I was starving on Sunday, and I mixed that with yeast, and some honey. HAHAHA. Then I cooked it. Yum. My companion was a little worried about me. I don't blame her. Her compliment this week to me in Comp inventory was : " You would make a good mom because you can cook anything  out of nothing." I'll take it.

So I was thinking the other night about how this probably the last time I really have alone with the Lord. Not to say that in the future I won't depend on him as much, but it will be different. I will be with family, I will have my own, and someone to share it all with. I don't want you all to think that this time I consider to be " Self time" but it is a unique opportunity to see myself from a different angle. When you put all of your life in someone else's hands it gives you a chance to step back and see who you really are.  I have set aside this time just for him, and it is giving me a lot of time to think about that relationship and also who I am- according to him and according to myself. I am finding out little things I never understood about myself.

This week I was in my little " Cycle". So basically it starts when I notice a certain weakness in one area. I want you to imagine with me one of those Wack-a-Mole machines ( yeah, like the ones at Chucky Cheese's) . So a little mole pops up and I try to demolish it with my little hammer, it's looking pretty defeated and then interestingly enough -after the offending mole has retreated- another one takes it's place.

While keeping an eye on the surrendered mound I start beating on the second mole. But wait! There's one peeping it's head  out of the hole in the upper right corner, now there's one tunneling up the middle, and the first one's back for more! So as I am sure each of us did when we were younger, I frantically beat the machine until it buzzes and spits out a pathetic amount of tickets. Alright, so I get caught up in this vicious cycle of correction. Honestly I feel like a lot of us do.

This whole week I have been trying to figure out the cycle. I decided that it is a very cunning way that Satan uses to distract us and hurt our relationship with Heavenly Father. Think about it. I am sitting there whacking, swatting, and whiffing at a bunch of relentless rodents and in the mean time my attention has been shifted from others to myself. Danger! Then because I have become so intent on fixing myself I have turned to myself, rather than an all-knowing source for strength. Well the weaknesses become more apparent, they start appearing faster and more frequently and by the time the game ends I end up with enough tickets to buy a dum-dum.

I think it is interesting that Christ asks us to " Forget ourselves, " and then once that is accomplished, he promises, "and you will find yourself." What is perfection really? If it really is perfection we are seeking, what do we have to do? I don't remember any accounts of the Savior frantically trying to perfect himself. In fact I am pretty sure that Christ didn't even try. That is weird to say but listen to why I think that: Without charity we are nothing. So basically from that we can conclude that Charity is everything. Every " divine command" is constructed on the foundation of a deep abiding love from God and our personal obedience is acceptable only when equated from love. So when we act in all selflessness we have found perfection. ( Thus we have the perfect being.) Where do we receive Charity? From the perfect source. God. So in essence perfection comes from God. Don't ask me how we attain it in a perfect degree. I am not sure. I can say I am sure it involves prayer and an abiding trust in the Lord that he will take care of our imperfections. For me personally, I just need to take a step back and let the man with the bigger hammer help me out. Simple as that, and harder than I thought. I'm working on it.

Alright, I have to do some packing!

Carissa. Are. You. Serious? I have to know because I have to tell President if that is the case. Boy, oh boy! How much will it cost? I am so excited. You are going to LOVE Europe....more specifically Hungary.

I love you all so much.

Dear Brooke. ( Ask mom to plug her nose when she reads this to you, and use a British accent.) I just wanted to write and tell you how splendid it was to receive word on  your doings in the Good ole' Missouri. I must also say that I am thoroughly impressed with your grammatical presentation. Miss Peterson sounds delightful and I would not be surprised if this school year was as grand as the last. I do believe you look stunning in your new wardrobe, and I do ever wish for pictures of your beloved face. Remember my love for you is never ending. Kisses and crumpets. Addy

Love You all!

Love Sis. Fowers